Why it Helps Us to Cheer Up Sooner Rather Than Later
Posted by Kare Anderson on Apr 5th, 2009. Related posts: Habit • Happiness • Research.
Eighty percent of Americans self-describe as “suffering” from the economic recession, according to a recent Gallup poll. Worse yet is the mood contagion effect. We instinctively spread and reinforce the fear we feel. It’s our pack mentality. We quickly check the situation for danger.
We don’t listen to words. We don’t believe “controlled” facial expressions. Our primal knowing cuts through social masks to feel the fear. Within seconds, we communicate our feelings with each other – intensifying whatever feeling we have. “Some stress is healthy and necessary to keep us alert and occupied,” says researcher, Spencer Rathus. In fact, “Most people do their best under mild to moderate stress,” finds Janet DiPietro, a developmental psychologist at Johns Hopkins University.
Unfortunately, since our brain is wired to help us survive, we feel fear faster, more intensely and longer that any positive emotion. Plus we spread it faster.
Worse yet, research shows that we least like the person in the situation who looks or sounds most unhappy. That’s a downward spiral that isolates the most vulnerable person in the herd while making the rest increasingly upset and reactionary.
That’s why Emotional Freedom author, Judith Orloff believes that “Fear is the mother of all negative emotions.” It is often expressed as anger, blaming or frustration. “Fear renders intelligent people dumb. They are not clear-headed or intuitively in synch enough to make brave decisions,” found Orloff. Consequently, when you first begin to feel fearful or angry, change the channel in your mind. Rather than catastrophizing about the future, focus on your current situation. Your best bet is to immediately:
- Breathe deeply and slowly, inhale and exhale – even for just a minute.
- Think of what you can do – even a small thing – towards making the situation better.
- Take that action, then plan the next one.
In effect, you are viewing the source of your fear as an obstacle not an insurmountable wall. As Nelson Mandela said, “Fear is contagious, so is fearlessness. The sooner you act to change your mood and behavior the less damage you’ll do to yourself or your relationships – and the more options you’ll have.
With practice this three-step Mood Channel Change Habit will become second nature. Inevitably that leads to a happier life with others.
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