These are the words I most often use from Managing with Aloha when asked why I feel Lōkahi is the Hawaiian value which conveys teamwork best of all.

When we work within a team, that dynamic of needing to join heads and hands with others is the critical component, isn’t it. We aren’t alone, and we need to function by cooperating with others as best as we possibly can. Beyond simple cooperation we need to collaborate, allowing our shared inputs and ideas to become woven and blended; unified. Compromise may happen, but we hope not; we want better than that cooperation of having to give up something. We want to achieve some new creation of dazzling unity where no one had to give up anything. No bright idea dimmed.

On the contrary, our team ended up being stronger than we initially could even imagine was possible. Not only was there room in the effort for everyone to participate, the effort itself took on a kind of magic, and a new creation was revealed. There was a transformation of some kind, and the transformation may have been us! People emerged from their contributions and their shared working efforts feeling victorious, and saying things like, “Amazing; how incredible was that?” and “Who would have thought we would actually pull that off?”

When teams work together best, individuals emerge bigger than they were before: They’ve been lifted up, or have grown in some way. The Lōkahi unity which was achieved did not diminish anyone, or worse, leave them out. On the contrary, it gave them the possibility to explore a potent capacity they weren’t even aware they still could explore. The most successful teams are those which make individuals stronger and more confident in their own abilities: They have witnessed how their contributions served others.

So my question for you today is this: When you begin working with a new team, or with your existing team at the start of a brand new day, are those outcomes I have just described the outcomes you set your sights on? What goal do you have in mind?

This is how I will describe Lōkahi from now on: I will own it in my Kuleana (my personal sense of responsibility), and say, “Lōkahi seeks my harmony with bringing people to creative agreement. It is my value of cooperation, collaboration, and unity.” I am that common thread. I am that defining critical one in the success of each team I engage with. I don’t mean that it is all about me, not at all. I do mean it is about my own behavior, my own contribution, my own initiative, and my own willingness to cooperate with the greater desire to collaborate. Lōkahi teams do not happen without Lōkahi people.

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Then one day, I got up the courage to go to the dictionary.  The definition of humility I like the best is “a lack of false pride.”  These words gave me permission to see I didn’t have to be better than anyone else.  More difficult to swallow at first was that no one had to be worse than me. All of that was false pride.   If I could start my meeting assuming we were all on equal footing – coming to the table with individual talents and no answers, things got easier and I seemed to become for myself and others, a more delightful person to be with.

Here’s a tip I use to prep for meetings now that makes me feel empowered and no less or more powerful than anyone else:  I concentrate on what I most want to give to this client, or group.  What in my heart of heart do I know is MINE to give – my gifts.   I give very little thought to what I want to get.   I listen for what others have to give as if I am being given the best they have to give and that collectively we’ll come up with the solutions and answers we need.  In the end, I feel I have played “my part” and I am a “part of” the whole.  It is always personally satisfying.  The results are usually terrific.  It makes me happy.  After all, what I am looking truly for is all the joy I can experience.  I love the whole pie.  I’m no longer so interested in just accepting crumbs.

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