CEOS. Parents. Dishwashers. Teachers. Children. Anyone can be a leader, including you. When you bring the best out in others so they become higher-performing with and for others – you are a leader. Here are three traits that such leaders share.

1. Act Like You Want Others to Act

Gandhi said “We must be the change we wish to see in the world”. To lead, we must demonstrate the attitudes and behaviors we want to cultivate in others. If you’re a business leader and you want your staff to dress professionally, you set the example by arriving in a suit every day. As a teacher who wants students to learn to make and keep agreements, set deadlines for turning in homework and the timetable for when they will get their corrected assignments back. Keep your part of the agreement.

2. Prove You Care and Value Others Who Do Too

The second element of true leadership is to inspire others to care, not just for those closest to them but as an attitude of support towards all others.

One of my mentors, Dr. Tim Goddard, lost his daughter, Cpt. Nichola Goddard, when she was killed in Afghanistan in 2006. The family was devastated. Thoughout their time of grief for the loss of their daughter, they also sought ways to find positive outcomes from their tragedy, and hope for peace in the world. One way was to start a scholarship fund in memory of their daughter. Scholarships are awarded to graduate students at the University of Calgary are citizens of Papua New Guinea, Nichola Goddard’s birthplace, as well as to citizens of Afghanistan, where she died and to Canada’s First Nations, Inuit or Métis people, with whom Captain Goddard spent many of her formative years.

Canadian Prime Minister, the Rt. Hon. Stephen Harper, thought this scholarship was such an important tribute that he added $25,000 from the Canadian government.

By instinctually acting to care for others, leaders demonstrate an “I’ve got your back” attitude of support that inspires others to act the same. That contagious mutual support enables us to feel part of a larger whole, to be resilient and thus ready to serve each other.

3. Expect Their Best

Leaders empower others by acting as if we can accomplish great things. One of the key ways leaders demonstrate that ‘act as if’ attitude is by appealing to the best side in someone, their strongest talent and deepest belief. When I was coaching a resourceful, dedicated director of a university international language program, she kept describing the barriers she faced. She was frustrated with the limited funding and time she had. I replied that her deep caring for her students and her ingenuity to leverage what she did have were priceless lessons for her students. Her very resourcefulness could be a source of inspiration for her students along with the topic she was teaching. In short I appealed to what mattered most to her and what we both knew she did well. Later, she told me that was a pivotal conversation for her, as she realized that her first order of business was to serve her students and help them become the best they could be.

By practicing these three traits in your work and life situations you’ll hone your natural strengths as a leader and raise the bar of performance for yourself and for others around you.

No related posts.

The Japanese have a wonderful prayer or “saying” before meals … they say “itedaki masu” the idea of which is to acknowledge and give thanks to all people that were involved in making this food possible and available for me to eat.  To me, this is honoring the principle of people in your life.

I once heard someone speak of how tough it really is to survive in the wilderness.  Most of us do not have the opportunity to know this first hand – but face it, if you did manage to get enough food, protein included; and managed to not get eaten by some wild animal, life would be pretty dull without someone to chat with.  The solitude might just drive you crazy.  We were not designed to live alone.

So let’s take a moment and review the things we do that define us, that give us work and resources we need to live our destiny.  Let us also “notice” the people that support us, work with us and give us the opportunities to do what we do.  You will notice that the list grows.  Be honest in a way that is grounded.  Here is a personal example;  very often I am in a conversation with people about my gift of healing and my love for being a teacher of spirituality and living; sometimes they are rather surprised because they might have met me at a cocktail party or in a business situation.  In these instances I remind them that – a teacher is a teacher only when he or she has a student.  The rest of the time, they (the teacher) might be a parent, a friend, a customer, a patient, and even a student of someone else.

We are the narratives we hold, we are the stories we tell our selves – but what story is complete without all its actors – minor actors, major actors, villains, heroes and let us not forget the jesters.  My invitation here is for you to dance with this awareness.  Honor the people in your life, give thanks to them, but go further … cherish them, nurture them and support them; so they might live their dreams and fulfill their destiny.  Doing this activates the principle of reciprocity … some call it Karma.  But when you activate this principle in your life; you activate a force multiplier.  Wonderful things happen to you, a little bit here, a little bit there and they add up beautifully.  I find that – one good turn or deed or thought begets another.  The opposite is true as well, one bad deed or action leads to another.

So walk with the consciousness that we are connected and that we need people in our lives.  The better the quality of people in our lives the better they will contribute to us in positive ways.  The less they are aligned with our commitments, the less they will be able to support us living our dreams.  Remember, you can choose who you play with so choose your people teams well.  When it comes to family …. That’s whole different ball of wax; I will leave that up to you.

No related posts.

In my training as a business coach, I was fascinated to learn a term for the space between where you are and where you want to be: edge.

Two examples in my manual are:

1. Trying on a new idea or perspective.
2. Being a shy person and choosing to speak up.

I certainly know the feeling and suspect you do, too. That’s where the word edgy comes up – that uncomfortable place between who you are now and who you’d like to become.

The illustration in one of my coaching manuals describing this scenario as an upside-down V.  Over the holidays I received a delightful holiday card from my friend and colleague bearing an illustration by her son. It was actually a more memorable representation than the one in my fancy notebook, illustrating the unstable and scary place between those worlds. There’s the “skier” whose primary identity (shy person) is on the left. The secondary identity (one who speaks up) is on the right and an arrow crossing the peak of the V pointing from the primary to the secondary. When we’re poised on the top of that mountain, it’s a tenuous place.

I have a fairly successful track record, but there are still times when I find myself terrified when a new challenge comes my way. Part of my success has come from consistently looking for higher bars to vault over.

My recommendation for those of you “on the edge” is to break intimidating tasks into their tiniest fragments. Basically the way to overcome fear boils down to writing a letter, dialing the phone or putting a higher sticker price on your product or service. More often than not, what terrifies me and a lot of other people, is the anticipation before you do something and the fear that comes afterward. Actually doing the thing you are afraid of is often the easy part. Go for it!

No related posts.